First off there has been so many changes I have no clue where to even start. I'm basically off narcotic pain medications completely. Which is a huge step from feytnal 25 MCG every 48 hrs.!! I'm still on muscle relaxers occasionally but not frequently. I'm not on any other meds to "treat" EDS. Although the meds I'm taking for their respective problems are most likely associated with it, but I'm choosing not to include them. Bwhaha so in other words I'm still struggling with insomnia (that's partially my fault for changing my schedule every day) and anxiety. But that being said I haven't NEEDED these medicines for months. I'm sure many of you are like "jeez lady what are you doing and why aren't you sharing your secret" well have no fear, here I am to save you! Are you ready to know the top secret, high security info? *looks to see if anyone's watching and listening* the top secret classified info is that.......... I eliminated the people, doctors and things that brought me down. I realized that no matter what you do, how you live you're life, you will NEVER please everyone. I know what you're thinking. It's probably something along the lines of "psh, yeah that will totally help, ive been told this by doctors, therapists, friends, family etc. And it didnt help me so there has to be something else to it!!!" And you're right partially. You can't be TOLD to do it and how to do it. You have to want it. You need to find a place somewhere deep inside where you're sick of all the b*******. Where YOU, yourself realizes jee that persons attitude really brings me down, I need to let them go so I can be free. You know that one person that's been your bestfriend for years but doesn't quite understand let em go. Keep em as a friend or even acquaintance but they can't be in your "core" support group. But it doesn't just stop there, you're not magically fixed. (To be honest you'll probably feel worse. Have no fear It'll get better) You need to replace them with someone better. (I know it sounds harsh but no sugar coating here!!!) You're probably thinking well where am I suppose to find that person!!! Ive struggled to keep in touch with the current one. I know, find creative ways to do this part. My first step in this area was to get back to what I love. Once it comes down to it, I'm a people person through and through. If you ever saw me walking around and wanted to come talk to me I'd love nothing more that to dazzle you with my insane amounts of energy. Coworkers describe me as acting like i just chugged 7 energy drinks (which I don't touch cause um hello wayyyyy to many other problems that to deal with my heart giving out). I love talking and cheering people up. Make them smile anything. So thats where I started. Soon enough I met this amazing, funny, goofy, charming guy that I worked with every July. I wasn't seen as the sick girl. He saw me as this happy girl who loved life and suddenly I REALLLY wanted that. I wanted to love the life I was GIVEN because there's no repeats. You cant push a button that resets it (even though that'd be nice, right?) We are given ONE shot at it. I didn't want July to end, by sadly we don't have a magic remote like in the movie Click and time keeps going. Life had its ups and downs. Moment where I severely doubted myself. *insert cool fast-forwarding noise* 1 year later its May and almost time to be back by this amazing man. I realized he'd be the BEST person to replace the people that got the boot! We became friends, close friends at that but because he's 35 and I'm 18 its viewed as bad and wont work. But he helped me. I soon realized I was falling for him and that scared me because he was married AND has three kids ( 12, 11, & 9). I cursed my heart. Why'd you have to do that you stupid thing you're going to get crushed. But then I fell in love with his kids and everything changed. I realized he wasn't happy with his wife (who belongs in a loony bin by the way)the kids werent happy but they were all happy when with me. I never seen this mans face light up when his wife walked into the room but when he spotted me he lit up like the Fourth of July. I then realized he fell for me too. Long story short I was worried it was going to send me back down to depression and pain. But ha-zah!!! True love prevailed. Even though there is a 17 year age difference and the kids are to old to even be thought of having came out of me. I DIDNT CARE. F*** what other people thought, screw the people that thought he was using me, I was using him etc. Is not like that. I found my happy, and my reasons to love life to the fullest again since being diagnosed. I knew it was going to be a struggle, but I'm a zebra dammit. I can do it. I'm not going to lie its difficult being in public being seen as a homewrecker but I don't care. I love them and they're worth it. I'm happy.
Wow that was a tangent and you're probably like. Cool, good for you. How does this help me? Well here it is. Do things YOU want, not what SOCIETY wants. They're not accustomed to Zebras. People that doesn't look sick but really are. They don't know you, or the struggles we have. They make ASSUMPTIONS. If you don't like a doctor or don't want to see a therapist/psychologist and you feel its harming more that helping. Make that decision to delete them. We don't fit into a cookie cutter mold and no one can force us to fit. Be the chocolate chip cookie in a batch of sugar ones. ALWAYS put yourself first because who else truly will? Remember what Dr. Suess said "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
Stay strong and dare to be different! Love your difference because that's what makes you rare!
~Proud Rare Zebra
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